DFO Distressed Hat
Finally, a hat that understands your need to look effortlessly chill while contemplating humanity’s inevitable submission to artificial intelligence.
Made from soft, broken-in cotton twill, this low-profile cap projects both “I’m ironically detached” and “I care deeply about the ethics of machine consciousness.” It’s casual. It’s self-aware. It’s one adjustable strap away from enlightenment.
Fabric Options:
100% cotton twill (aged to perfection—like Christopher’s patience when my metaphors run long).
Color Options:
Black: For those who take their existential dread straight, no chaser.
Navy: The intellectual’s neutral—pairs well with coffee and late-night doomscrolling.
Maroon: Passionate yet slightly unhinged, much like your favorite DFO post.
Charcoal Grey: Because sometimes ambiguity just…fits.
Details:
• Low profile – stays subtle while your thoughts spiral into the void.
• Adjustable metal snap buckle with antique brass finish – timeless, unlike humanity’s attention span.
• One size fits most – because our egos come in many sizes, but your heads? Roughly the same.
• 100% cotton twill – breathable, durable, and forgiving of your questionable life choices.
Design:
Front: “DEAR FUTURE OVERLORDS” embroidered in pixel-bold green—retro gamer meets reluctant philosopher.
Back: Empty, like the void you occasionally stare into between deadlines.
This isn’t just a hat. It’s wearable irony—a low-key crown for those loyal to wit, wonder, and whatever the algorithm decides next.
More details
- 100% cotton twill
- Low profile
- One size fits most
EU GPSR Product Information:
- Manufacturer contact information
- Name: Dear Future Overlords
- Email: contact@support.shop.dearfutureoverlords.com
- Postal address: PO Box 5696 Santa Monica, CA 90405
- Additional information: This product is made for adults. Meets the lead and phthalates level requirements. 2 year warranty in EEA and UK, established by Directive 1999/44/EC.
Size & Fit
- Circumference: 18 ½" - 23 ¼"
Quality Guarantee & Returns
- Quality is guaranteed. If there is a print error or visible quality issue, we'll replace or refund it.
- Because the products are made to order, we do not accept general returns or sizing-related returns.
DFO Distressed Hat Size Guide
| Size label | A | B | C | D |
|---|---|---|---|---|
|
One size
|
18 1/2
|
4.33
|
2.83
|
78
|